Friday, September 09, 2005

Brown, meet Peter!


Mike Brown called "the one I can't understand"

by Satire News Service

In a surprising announcement coming just after Mike Brown's removal from New Orleans recovery effort, Laurence J. Peter has admitted that his "Peter Principle" has flaws in it and should be removed from all future books.

"It seemed to work," said Mr. Peter. "Every person I'd seen had risen to some level of success and competence, and then was systematically promoted to a level where they couldn't handle it. But then I read about Mike Brown and traced his work history, and..." He shook his head. "I just don't know. My theory obviously has problems."

The pushers of an alternative theory, "Intelligent Job Structure", were not as ecstatic as one would think when their major competitor has admitted errors. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one of the major leaders in "The Bureaucracy Institute", had this to say.

"Well, while we are happy to finally hear that heathen Mr. Peter admit his principle is wrong, we at the Bureaucracy Institute are having trouble fitting Mike Brown in our theories as well. I mean, our whole theory is that some CEO of the universe placed these people in a cohesive, intelligently designed structure - which is obvious when you look at the world, isn't it? But then you get Mike Brown...suddenly you have to wonder about the intelligent part of it. This IS on deep background, right?"

Mike Brown, who has not been relieved of his job at FEMA, was removed from the hurricane recovery effort in New Orleans after many missteps and criticisms. His position was not helped after reporters found several parts of his resume were padded. Not daunted by the investigation, his new resume had the following extra lines added on line:

"2002-present. Leader of FEMA and the free world. Was mentioned in several papers and newscasts for his role in the Katrina relief efforts, being called "...a leader...we can' without", "...a man whose actions...were incredible...", and "The...leader of a...Federal agency that...was great."

The actual quotes read as follows:

"Mike Brown is a leader who doesn't lead and a man we can't see doing any action we could live without."

"In the aftermath of Katrina, we have to single out a man whose actions, or lack of them, were incredible in their failure to relieve or help anyone."

"The incompetent Mike Brown, leader of a gutted and failed Federal agency that once was great, has smeared the name of FEMA forever."

When contacted about the seeming misquoting, a spokeswoman said Mr. Brown preferred not to talk to the press but wanted to go about preparing to help the rest of the nation. She also said, "We are tired of playing the blame game here. No one is to blame except for everyone but Mike Brown, FEMA, and anyone in the Bush Administration. It's very simple."

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