Rove

ROVE IN INTERVIEW: "I DENY I WAS INTERVIEWED"

from Satire News Services

In an interview that Mr. Rove denied happened as it was happening, he was asked some questions about his role in the Plame leak.

"Mr. Rove, were you in contact with Matt Cooper or Bob Novak?"

"No, I never came in contact with them. We never touched at all."

"Were you the source for Mr. Cooper's article?"

"THE source? How can I know? He may have had several people tell him things."

"Did you leak any information about Valerie Plame?"

"I did not give out any information on paper, through smoke signals, or through the mystic powers of telepathy."

"Did you call Bob Novak and mention Valerie Plame at all?"

"Of course not! I never initiated that call."

(slight pause)

"Mr. Rove, if you're not going to answer any questions, why did you agree to be interviewed?"

"I deny I was interviewed. This is a simple meeting between two people who don't know each other while one asks questions and the other answers them. What made you think this was an interview?"

"But you agreed to come here and answer questions!"

"I did not - I agreed you could ask them. I never said I was going to answer them."

"Wait a minute, here's my notes, in the e-mail you state 'I will answer all your questions as honestly as I have answered everyone else's.'"

"Ah, but I didn't say that. You WRITE e-mails, not say them. I don't even read mine aloud."

"Did you or did you not lie to McClellan when you told him you weren't involved in the leak?"

"Which McClellan?"

"SCOTT McCLELLAN!"

"Him? I never told him I wasn't involved in the leak."

"He said you told him that."

"I never used those exact words."

"What DID you say to him?"

"I never said anything. I shook my head no when he asked me a question."

"So you DID lie!"

"I never said what question it was I answered no to."

"Mr Rove, can you give me a straight answer?"

"Yes - and that was the one. The non-interview is over. And it never happened anyway."