Saturday, February 04, 2006

CIA Head Revealed!


"...the truth is so much more than the facts"

by Satire News Service

James Frey, the author who was caught falsifying much of a supposed autobiography, has come forward and admitted he was the actual head of the CIA at the time of so much wrong Iraqi information. "While I'm admitting my errors in one area, I may as well go ahead and admit this one as well," Mr. Frey said. "Get it all over with."

"I don't know how Bush knew of me, but soon after the 2000 election, he came and asked me if I would mind running the CIA behind the scenes. Since my fictional autobiographical book wasn't getting accepted, I figured, sure, why not? Maybe I'd write a James Bond kinda biography instead if my addicted one never got accepted.

"But man, it was dull, and Cheney and Bush kept on asking me about Iraq and all their WMDs. Hell, for a month I thought WMD were Whole Malt Drinks and I was waiting for someone to bring some peanuts. Then I did some reading about Hussien, and what a jerk, huh?

"So I figured, well, you know, everyone KNOWS he's a jerk and a bad man. That's the truth. That truth doesn't change. So I just, you know, adjusted the facts to make the truth more true. So I just said, sure, WMD's, lots of them. I even made up those unmanned drone things after watching Star Wars, 'cause, you know, that would be too cool!"

President Bush quickly reacted to Frey's admission, calling it "unlikely" and "probably not true", although Scott McCllelan quickly reminded the press that the President often didn't speak literally.

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