Friday, January 06, 2006

Wishing for the right hoarse throats

The only good thing about Pat Robertson speaking is the constant affirmation about his mental state - Terri Schaivo all the way. I assume you've all heard Patsie claim God gave the thumbs-up for Ariel Sharon's stroke and was also apparently in favor of Rabin's assassination as well. The good news is that God apparently zoned Israel for recreation parks, though, so we got Dominionist Disney Land coming. I can't wait for the mascot Bible-Thumping Boaz, and the ride of The Passion of the Christ (you must be THIS HIGH to be crucified). The product tie-ins should be wonderful as well - I can see T-shirts saying "The Holy Land Cafeteria - try our fish and bread!" or "I helped bring about the second Coming and all I got was this lousy T-shirt". I hope they don't put up a temple though..."Den of Thieves 2 - This Time It's Personal! Starring James Calavizel as Jesus and Rob Schiender as Judas."

Let's be frank here - Pat's nuts. He calls for assassinating Hugo Chavez and then frantically tries to backtrack out of it, saying a lot about his convictions to tell the truth; tells Dover they voted God out when they rejected IDiocy; called a hurricane to hit Florida in response to "Gay Day"; claimed Bush would win in a landslide in 2004, a claim that the Bush people themselves seemed to believe they DID given the claims of "mandate" tossed around; and now says that God gave Ariel Sharon a stroke and let Yitzhak Rabin be killed as well since they "divided his land" (although the verse I read from the KJV says "[2] I will also gather all nations, and will bring them down into the valley of Jehoshaphat, and will plead with them there for my people and for my heritage Israel, whom they have scattered among the nations, and parted my land." A stroke is a PLEA? Damn, what's a demand, fire and brimstone? Read Chapter 3 of Joel as well and see if any of the other claims came true when we weren't looking - mountains dripping wine (we have a lovely Mount Ebal rose, or would you prefer the Mount of Olives retsina?), hills flowing with milk (dad! we got a skimalanche!), rivers flowing with water...okay, maybe one of three)...if you had Pat for a family member around Thanksgiving, there'd be some serious debating about whether to lose his card in the mail.

So, given the fact that Pat's insane...where's the condemnation? Where are the other evangelists coming out and saying, "Um, Pat? Not so much." Where's the Republican politicians coming out and saying, "We disagree with the Good Patsie that God struck down Sharon out of anger." Has Bush come forward and said, "Pat can have his opinion - it isn't mine."

Hasn't happened yet. May not happen.

This is a big problem for evangelicals - one of the major voices for them is as appropriate as Bill Clinton for a Fidelity program, or Bill Bennet for gambling reform. A bigger problem is that few of them step forward and SAY so. Sojourners and Christian Alliance have done so in the past, and been roundly condemned by Patsie and his ilk for being un-Christian and the like. (Because people who oppose a lunatic in charge are tools of the devil, of course, because the voices in the lunatic's head said so.)

So, why is it the voices that NEED to speak up have suddenly gone silent, and the ones that should shut up are still yapping? I think that question needs to be answered, and soon.

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